Head is a mess i need your help if poss...?

hey guys and girls, two months ago i split up with my ex girlfriend because everything was just wrong, like we only ever seen each other once a week, even tho she lived 15min away from me,also i used to spend �50 on flowers being delivered to her house and this one time i met my ex at her friends house and when i got there the FLOWERS i sent her was chucked on the floor off her mates car! now i didn't say anything because i didn't wonna embarr her, but that really hurt me and i felt like MUPPET around her friends because they new what i was thinking! it was my birthday in april and she didn't even buy me anything lol not even a card,i didn't say anything to that either! well at the end off april i started to dislike her because she made me feel unwanted so i stared talking to her like sh!it..which i knew was wrong) in the end i finished it over text :S what was wrong! anyway i dint hear anything from her she didn't even text back asking why or whatever, two months later i seen her in our gay bar we spoke told each other that we loved each other, she was saying im a top girl but we can not be and that i had something about me? i asked her if we could meet in the week and she was like NO, a week later she rang me with an attitude saying i asked her to call me when i DIDNT, an argument kicked off down the phone then we both started again on facebook, i told her that i loved her and wanted to be with her after all the cr@p but she was like NO its over, but the things she was messaging me felt like i had another chance,on fb i asked her why she didn't get me anything for my birthday and her reply was ( why buy people things when they cant even hold a convo!! now i was with her for 8months and its made me think why was she with me all that time if i couldn't hold a convo down!? anyway for some strange reason i want this girl back! i dint know if its because she was my FIRST girlfriend or is it because i Just love her?? also she said everyone in the gay bars no about me thats why i cant get a girfriend?? one last thing..im a paranoid person and im scared that she has called the police on me for abusive texts :( do you think she has or am i looking in to things to hard?? help me please many thanks and sorry for the bad grammar